My diabetes is choking me.
I have had to live with diabetes type 1 for over 21 years now, and sometimes it feels like this disease has been slowly choking me for years. In general I feel that most people have the impression that when you are diabetic you just need to take some insulin and everything is good, but that is not the case. Sure for some diabetics its a relatively smooth ride and they live good normal lives, but thats not the way it goes for all of us.
Every single day there are about a million things I have to think about and take in to consideration for everyday to go smoothly and my blood sugar to be within the normal range, which can sometimes feel like an impossible task. Everything I do, think, feel and eat have an effect on my blood sugar, and my blood sugar level determine how my body and mind is functioning and feeling. Managing this disease is hard work and even harder if you want to have a normal and not to mention good quality of life. Sometimes my body does not listen to me or react the way I want, and it is frustrating. I once read a girl trying to explain what diabetes is, and she said “It´s like getting a round the clock job that you did not even apply for”, I could not agree more. The illustration above says allot too, and yes my mind goes through all of these things not once a day, but all the time, in addition to the rest of everyday life stuff that all of us have in our heads. Diabetes in it´s self is hard and demands allot of the people it hits, and in addition to that it brings along allot of extra baggage that I was not prepared for when faced with the diagnoses, but have become aware of over the years. I will for sure talk to you more in detail about the specific things I struggle with, but for now I just want to talk more in general. Some of the nasty things in the diabetes baggage is, lower immune system, weight gain from insulin, which also makes it hard to loose weight, teeth that get faster cavities and even receding gums, skin disease, fungus, higher risk for high blood pressure and heart attacks, higher risk of depression and eating disorder, bad eye sight that can in worst case lead to blindness, nerve damage, higher risk of infections, the list is long and I bet I could go on for hours, though I´m not going to.
So what do you do? Let the disease beat you, or control your life? I say, HELL NO! You take control over it! For what other choice do I have. These are the cards I have been delt in life, and I am sure as hell going to make the most of it. As much as I want to some times, I cant take a vacation from my disease, but I can do whats in my power to make my diabetes and my life go as easy as possible, and that is my main goal now. So I say to you diabetes: You can try and choke me as much as you want, but you are not bringing me down without a fight!!